Hello, I am desperately seeking your help. I am part of a short story competition for literary magazine Bartleby Snopes. This is something really exciting for me and I would be really grateful if any of you could vote for my story. The story is called ‘Forget-me-not’. You can vote for it at http://www.bartlebysnopes.com/stories.htm If you […]Read more "Desperate, vain plea for votes"
In recent weeks, I have developed something of a hunch. Sauntering about the town, pavements are ever populated by a strange, breathy sort of folk – a panting, scantily clad breed of human, that meanders about tirelessly…trudging onwards in a futile, sticky gloom. They are known commonly as ‘joggers’, here in the UK. You know […]Read more "The Truth About Joggers."
It appears to be that time of year again. That long awaited, highly anticipated season…’Summer’. Well, maybe the twilight days and weeks of it, but I think you would agree it is ‘Summer’ nonetheless. Well, unless you’re in Australia. I presume it is winter there. For those of us in the pea sized United Kingdom, […]Read more "The Measure of Men."
In Darwin’s broadened, prophetic eye, survival was deemed to be attributed to the fittest. And it seems to have rung true, this sweet tongued aphorism, “survival is of the fittest!”, for folks ever since. I mean, I suppose it makes sense. It seems to have made sense for all of history. For those troublesome dinosaurs, […]Read more "Survival of the Vapid."
Awkwardness is the sole trait in humankind that separates us, Man, from the rest of the living, breathing, reproducing life on this Earth. It is the only truly human instinct. Do animals wear clothes to shroud their naughty bits? No to my knowledge. Do they analyse endlessly where exactly their hands should fall during casual interaction, so […]Read more "5 Excruciatingly Awkward Situations for Men."
The ‘All You Can Eat Buffet’. It’s fantastic isn’t it? The eighth wonder of the World. I do not doubt for a moment that all the eyes in the Universe light up with mirages of mountainous plates at the very mention of an all you can eat. I went to a Chinese All You Can […]Read more "Strategic Approaches to an All You Can Eat Buffet."
One thing which has always struck me, more than any other flaw in my own personality, is my complete inability to converse with the fairer sex. I have always struggled to strike up a conversation of any worth, meaning, or interest with a lady – probably from the first moment dialogue could be formed from […]Read more "How To Be Unsuccessful With The Ladies."
I am currently in my second and final year of completing my unnecessarily dense A-levels. I hope to go on to University; with any luck to enrol on a course which would enable me to further my abilities in providing you, the completely disinterested reader, with an unrelenting stream of irrelevant dross similar to this, […]Read more "Personal Statement."
Now, before I start, I’m not a heretic. No sir, that’s not me. I’ll have nothing to do with provoking undesirable behaviour at all. That’s not what I’ve set out to do. But… If you believe the Mayan folk, those ancient little bastards with their cheeky doomsday calculations, then we are set for a rather […]Read more "What Will You Do At The End of The World?"